Lost Love

It feels as fresh as today that he was gone. As he left in peace, he left me in pieces. My imaginative contemplations often head me to every recent memory which we ever had together. Our favorite hangout, favorite movie, favorite band and everything else we shared on a common ground. All these things don't let me forget him. I lay there helpless and insecure left alone with confusion, pain, trying to cope up with every negative emotion I am encountering with. No real person to talk to about my emotions, nobody to take of me like him, no one to comfort me the way he used to.

                Terribly fighting back the urge to cry I rush my tears back into my eyes. No sooner I realize I can’t handle any more of the building up stress than I find tiny drops of them shedding from my eyes, uncontrollably. It becomes difficult to trust anyone with my secrets and let outs because then I realize that it’s not him and he is no more. I break down every time when I figure out that we won’t ever come back to me for my whole life and that I have to lead my entire life span without his presence. Its horrifying that when a person who is so dear to you, whom you are so in love with that you need him more than breathing suddenly has to walk out of your life and leave you alone forever. Then I prefer being in solitude so that no one can watch me in depression since I don't like upsetting others for my sorrow. He has left such a void in my life that no one can ever fill or even repair. I cannot think of anyone else but him. To comfort myself I watch all his favorite songs, listen to all his favorite songs, cook dishes he liked, be to places he loved going, staying around with people of his close association. Although these things make no sense but they still give me a happy feeling and a reason to live, a reason to fulfill each of his wishes and living up to his lifestyle. Never had I thought even in my wildest nightmare that I will have to be so strong, and brave to endure all this aggravation alone.

                      Life is sometimes so unfair. One moment you feel like you have everything you desire in life and you are on cloud nine while on the other you are forced to compel yourself to think that you are left with nobody and misery takes over your imagination. Life is so uncertain that you cannot predict what will happen to you after a short moment of joy. Today I feel so nostalgic that the real world seems like a dream and my dreams are the ones I want to convert into my reality.